


Before Us

by AJsRandom



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Disabled Character, Drama, F/M, Light Angst, Physical Disability, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 13:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9739916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJsRandom/pseuds/AJsRandom
Summary: Based on the movie "Me Before You," Gwen becomes a caregiver/companion for the quadriplegic Arthur, who seeks to end his life in six months. As their romance blossoms, will she be able to change his mind? A project for reel_merlin on LJ.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you wonderful mods for the opportunity and thanks to my beta, MonJoh. You are a superstar!

Arthur Pendragon had it all. A flat overlooking the Thames, a job he excelled at, great health, and a wonderful woman he intended to make his fiancée. He glanced at his watch to decide if he had time for a long breakfast this morning and decided he didn’t. He grabbed a cup of yogurt and wolfed it down while he stood at the counter.

He saw his motorcycle helmet sitting there and briefly considered taking it before thunder boomed, reminding him of the pouring rain outside. Leaving the helmet on the counter, he exited the flat and made his way to the bottom floor where he was soon out in the rain.

His mobile rang before he’d taken two steps into the miserable weather. It was Percy, one of his workers, wanting to know the particulars of a trade that had been proposed. He asked whether the matter could wait until he was in the office, but was told the other party was on his other line. So Arthur walked and talked as he dodged other walkers, narrowly escaping being run over by a cyclist.

After several minutes of walking, he looked across the street and noticed a cab. Seeing the road as clear, he walked into it to hail the cab. Just as he called out, an engine noise caught his attention. Turning, he noticed a motorcycle bearing down on him. There was no time to dodge out of the way, and his world faded into a painful black as a scream and the screeching of brakes reached his ears.

xxxXxxx

_Two years later_

Guinevere Smith (just Gwen, thank you) had lived in the same small, picturesque town her entire twenty-six years. She’d held the same job for six of those years, at a small café called The Buttered Bun. She lived with her family: parents Tom and Jennie, and her brother Elyan. Life was simple but stressful as they struggled to make ends meet. Jennie stayed at home while the other three worked as much as they could. Tom had recently been laid off though, so now their lives were even more stressful.

Gwen was well-liked by young and old at work, kind and generous to a fault. That was why, after one typical day of work, she was surprised when Harvey, the owner of the shop, twisted the sign to _Closed_ early. He held out an envelope, which she took as if it might explode. “I’m sorry,” he explained, “this contains a month’s salary. Should get you by until you can find another job.”

“Thank you,” she told him and turned away to get her coat and other belongings from the back. Dejected, she walked home.

“Laid off?” Jennie said. “What will we do now? Elyan won’t be able to get more hours at the shop.”

“Gwen’s a good worker; I’m sure something will come up,” Elyan defended. She shot him a grateful smile and took her place at the dinner table.

Conversation at the table centered on her joblessness. Gwen felt bad enough without all the talk, but at least Tom and Elyan spoke up for her when they could. As soon as it was polite, she excused herself to her room for the night, resolved to visit the Job Center tomorrow.

xxxXxxx

Gwen woke in the morning, anticipating her workday then she remembered she had no job. She groaned and put a pillow over her head, dreading visiting the Job Center. And then there was her family. She couldn’t disappoint them—they needed her to provide a steady salary.

The family breakfast stayed calm. Not one comment from her mother about the job situation. Tom must have had a good talk with Jennie last night. Gwen appreciated this. By the time she had to leave for the Job Center, she was feeling a lot better about her prospects.

On the way there, she called her boyfriend, Lance, to tell him her situation. Lance was a fitness nut as well as personal trainer and life coach. She knew he’d have plenty of uplifting advice for her, which is why she hadn’t called him earlier. She didn’t think she could take his positive attitude. They arranged to meet later in the day and rung off.

Gwen expected the Job Center to be a bleary place, but she was pleasantly surprised to see cheerful décor and plenty of light. She waited patiently to be seen and planned her next few days of outfits.

Once she was registered, she was told she’d receive a call when something suitable for her came up. She was to come in and receive the details from one of the counselors. Gwen thanked the woman and left, feeling a more steady than when she’d come in.

Now lunchtime, she went to meet Lance at the track where he ran laps. The man always went for a run at lunchtime, followed by a healthy meal. Gwen privately thought his idea of a meal looked like rabbit food, but she didn’t judge. Over the six years of their dating life, Lance had trimmed his couch-potato self into a lean young entrepreneur. Clearly something was going right for him.

Gwen sat at one of the benches surrounding the track and waited for Lance to run around to her. “How did it go at the Job Center?” he asked.

“Better than I thought. They were very nice there.”

“Must be a different place then. When I was last there, it was miserable.”

“Lance, the last time you were there was five years ago. Of course it’s changed since.”

They both laughed at that. “Come run with me. I’ve only a couple laps left.”

She got up obediently and began running behind him. He turned to jog backwards, encouraging her to keep pace. She was glad she wore her sensible shoes today, but even with those she couldn’t keep up long. Finally she begged off and sat down again, waiting for him to finish.

They went to the closest pub for lunch, where Lance had his usual salad while Gwen ordered a burger. She couldn’t quite keep up with Lance’s meal plan but he luckily never criticized her food intake.

After lunch they parted ways and Gwen headed for home. She wasn’t looking forward to an afternoon at home, but where else did she have to go? So walk on she did, eventually reaching home.

The next morning, Gwen went through her wardrobe of fashion choices, trying to decide what to wear for another day of unemployment. Fashion had been one of her deepest and most abiding loves, and she’d even been admitted to a course at a nearby university to study it. It was then Tom’s chronic joblessness had struck and she resigned herself to working to support her family. But her wardrobe was filled with vintage pieces of clothing that she loved and wore no matter what anyone thought of them.

She finally chose a navy blue dress and put it on, then turned her attention to her curly hair. It often refused to behave, so she usually wound up wearing it back to keep out of the way. She’d just pulled it to the side when her phone rang.

It was a counselor at the Job Center asking if she could please come in because they’d found a listing that fit her. After ringing off, she pulled at her hair a bit more and decided to leave it and go down to breakfast.

As they were eating, she explained she’d gotten a call already and would depart for the Job Center after she was done eating. Her parents congratulated her and Elyan gave her a quick hug. She felt better than she had since she’d lost her job and set out for the Job Center with a smile on her face.

Once there, she was called back to see the counselor who’d called her. The woman explained that the job was working as an assistant beautician at a local beauty shop. Gwen had never thought of doing anything like this before and agreed to give it a try. It was work and that was her most important consideration.

She reported to the shop that afternoon and was given in-depth instruction about the things she’d be doing. At the end of the workday, she reported at home to the excitement of her family. Even her mother was genuinely pleased.

Gwen’s job at the beauty shop lasted almost three whole days. She had an unfortunate accident with hot wax and a customer’s eyebrow—she’d waxed the eyebrow off. So she returned home in disgrace to face her mother’s disappointed looks. Tom and Elyan patted her on the back and told her she’d have better success at her next job.

Two days later, she got another call from the Job Center and again reported there. This new job was a stocker at one of the grocery stores in town. She didn’t think this would be a particularly hard job since she just had to put items on shelves. The assistant manager of the store agreed, and gave her a quick orientation and overview of her duties.

She lasted five days at this job, until a display she’d concocted fell over and nearly tripped several customers. After cleaning the mess, she was told politely that she was no longer needed.

Gwen slunk home to face her disappointed family. By now they were all less sympathetic and could offer little comfort, especially Jennie. Her words hurt Gwen’s tender heart and she ran up to her room right after dinner to weep. She just couldn’t face them all any longer, knowing she’d failed not once but twice.

The next morning, Elyan snuck into her room. “Hey big sis,” he said.

Startled, she uncovered her face and looked at him. “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry about Mum. She’s never learned there’s such a thing as tact. Dad and I had a few more words with her after you left.”

Gwen sat up. “Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem. We siblings have to stay together, right?” He sat on the bed next to her.

“Elyan, I’m scared. What if I’m doomed to never hold a steady job again?”

“Remember when I dared you to get a job in less than twenty-four hours? You marched right into that café and got one. You can do this, Gwen. I believe in you.”

Gwen threw her arms around her little brother. “You’re so sweet.”

“I work at it.”

After he left, Gwen got up and ready to face the day. Elyan was right—she could do this. She wasn’t going to wait for the Job Center to call again. She’d march over there after breakfast and see what they had available herself. No more waiting around for life to happen to her. She’d get a steady job if it killed her.

xxxXxxx

With pats on the back, Gwen set off to the Job Center. She had to wait since she wasn’t expected, but that didn’t matter. There had to be a new job out there waiting for her and she was going to excel at it.

When her counselor was finally free, Gwen sat in the chair opposite her, bouncing her knee. “Tell me there’s something.”

“I don’t know that there’s anything else so soon,” the woman replied, “but I’ll look.” She typed into her computer and stared at the screen. “You’ve already tried beautician.”

“Hot wax is _not_ my friend.”

“And stocking groceries.”

“They didn’t say I couldn’t.”

The counselor sighed. “Gwen, there’s nothing—” Something pinged on her computer and she looked at it. “Huh, this just popped up. Care and companionship for a disabled man. They must be desperate; this is the fifth time I’ve seen this entry.”

“What does it entail?”

“You’d drive and assist him with activities. It’s a six-month contract and excellent money. No skills required. It’s perfect for you.”

Gwen shot the woman a look, but agreed. “How do I apply?”

The counselor turned on her printer and printed the details for Gwen. “You need to visit Pendragon manor at two-thirty this afternoon. You’ll meet Igraine Pendragon, who will interview you.”

“The Pendragons? Don’t they own the castle?”

“They are the caretakers, yes. But anyway,” she pulled the sheet from the printer and handed it to Gwen, “be on time. And wear something smart.”

Gwen looked down at what she was wearing and frowned. “All right.” She stood and reached out her hand. “Thanks for your help.”

The counselor stood and shook her hand. “You’re welcome. Just, please, get the job and keep it.”

“I’ll try my best.” And with that, she left the Job Center and headed home to make yet another announcement to her family.

Jennie was thrilled with Gwen’s news. She ushered her daughter upstairs to her room and rummaged around in her closet. She pulled out a blazer, blouse and skirt set that looked like it was last worn in nineteen eighty-three. Gwen grimaced but tried it on.

The blouse and blazer fit fine, but the skirt was tight and Gwen could only take small steps in it. But she decided she’d wear it anyway—apparently smart thirty years ago was still smart today.

Soon the time came to leave, and Gwen boarded the bus that would take her to the castle. She braced herself for the short ride. Once there, she walked to the gate that guarded the residence and rang a buzzer. The gate opened quickly and she made her way over to the main entrance of the manor.

Standing outside the entrance was a tall blonde woman. She looked down at the clipboard she held then back up at Gwen. “Miss Smith?”

“Yes.”

“I’m Igraine Pendragon. Follow me please.”

Gwen followed Mrs. Pendragon into the home and nearly gasped at the opulence. Obviously antique furniture was interspersed with modern pieces, giving the home a clean, elegant look. Soon the pair reached what could be called a living room and Gwen sat when invited to.

“Do you have any experience with healthcare?” Igraine asked.

“No.”

“Do you have any experience with quadriplegia?”

“Quadri—what?”

Igraine frowned. “It means he is paralyzed from the chest down, excepting a little movement in his hands.”

“Oh.”

“Do you have any career aspirations?”

“Career?” Gwen shifted on the settee.

“Do you have any professional dreams?”

“No, no dreams.”

Igraine studied her for a moment before asking, “Do you have anything to recommend you to this position?”

Gwen opened her mouth but nothing came out. She shrugged and smiled.

“Well I guess that’s all I need to—”

“Wait. Please. I’m a fast learner, I’m never ill and I can make a mean cup of tea. I’ll care for your husband—”

“Husband? The person we’ve been speaking of is my son.”

Gwen caught her mouth from slipping open. “Oh, my mistake, I’m so sorry. I say the stupidest things when I’m nervous. You should see—”

“Would you like the job?”

Gwen stopped breathing for a moment. “Pardon?”

Igraine smiled. “Would you like the job?”

“Yes. Yes! Very much so.”

“Good.” She stood. “Let’s go meet Arthur.” A door opened into the room. “Oh, hello dear.”

Gwen turned to see a tall, grey-haired man enter the room. “I see you have another interviewee,” he said.

“Uther, this is Miss Gwen Smith. Gwen, this is my husband, Uther Pendragon.”

Gwen stood and took Uther’s hand to shake it. “Good to meet you, Mr. Pendragon.”

“Likewise.”

Igraine spoke up. “Gwen’s agreed to take the job.”

Uther smiled “Have you? Oh good. I think he may like you better than the others.”

Igraine smacked his arm lightly. “Oh you. I’m sure he will. I was actually going to take her to meet Arthur now.”

“Good. Well I’ve got to pop out, that’s why I came by.” He kissed her cheek. “Until later then. And Miss Smith? Good luck.”

Gwen was puzzled by his remark but turned back to Igraine as Uther walked away.

“Well, shall we?” the older woman said. Gwen nodded and again followed Igraine through the house. “Your hours are eight to five, Monday through Saturday. Call if you’ll be late and,” she paused at a door, “don’t leave him alone for longer than fifteen minutes.”

Igraine opened the door. “This is the annex. We had it built after the accident two years ago.” Gwen saw a large, open room that looked like it functioned as a kitchen, living room and dining room. She showed her the bathroom and Arthur’s bedroom before standing in front of a room with sliding doors. “Are you ready for us?” she called out.

“He’s decent, Mrs. P,” said a voice inside the room.

Igraine opened the doors to reveal a sort of media room. Gwen saw speakers on the walls along with a large television and sofa. There, sitting directly across the room, was a handsome blonde man in a wheelchair. Although, she noted, he’d be more handsome if he shaved and had his hair cut. Standing at his side was a tall, dark-haired man.

“Gwen, this is Merlin,” Igraine indicated the dark-haired man. “He’s Arthur’s nurse and physiotherapist.”

Merlin stuck out his hand, which Gwen took. “Pleasure to meet you,” he said.

“Likewise,” she replied.

Igraine spoke up again. “And this is my son, Arthur.”

Gwen stepped a little forward. “Hello, I’m Gwen Smith.”

Arthur gave her a blank look before he screwed up his face and started making inhuman noises.. Uncertain, Gwen looked at Igraine, who rolled her eyes. “Arthur . . .”

Arthur continued to screech. Igraine tried again. “Arthur, please.”

After another moment, the sound ceased and Arthur composed his face into a smile. “Hello Gwen Smith, I’m Arthur Pendragon,” he said.

Gwen stood, staring. She couldn’t believe what this man had done. Was it supposed to be funny or was it excessive sarcasm?

Igraine spoke again. “Well, I’ll leave you to get acquainted. Merlin, please introduce her to the binder and all the things she’ll have to know.”

“You got it.”

Igraine turned to leave. “I won’t let you down,” Gwen told her.

“Good.” And Igraine was gone.

Gwen turned to stare again at Arthur. “I’m Gwen,” she said again, immediately feeling stupid.

“Yes, you said that,” Arthur replied, rolling his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just . . .”

Merlin spoke up. “Why don’t I show you the binder?”

“Great!” Gwen replied, too cheerfully. She winced

“You’ll be all right for a moment, Mr. P?”

“Splendid.” Arthur turned his chair to look out the window.

Merlin shrugged and led her out of the room and over to the kitchenette area. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a thick binder. He explained what was in all the sections and suggested she get to know it well. Then he opened another cabinet, its shelves loaded with drugs. Gwen gaped while he explained the functions of the most important (blood pressure, anti-spasm, nerve pain, painkillers). Gwen tried to memorize the location of each one but knew that it would take time for her to do so. He answered her questions and showed her where various other tools and food were located.

Gwen stood there, feeling lost, and a question bubbled out of her. “What am I doing here, exactly?”

Merlin stopped where he was and blinked at her. “I don’t know. To cheer him up, I guess.”

Gwen puzzled this statement over and over as she and Merlin went back to Arthur. For the rest of her time there, she attempted to engage Arthur in small talk. But he gave only short answers or none at all. She was relieved when Igraine appeared again and said she could leave for the day. After saying farewell to both men, she left and walked all the way back to the bus stop.

When she arrived home, she found everyone busy with dinner. Elyan looked up and noticed her standing there, smiling. “You got the job, didn’t you?”

At his words, Tom and Jennie glanced over at her. “Yeah,” she said, nodding excitedly.

“Good for you,” Jennie exclaimed, running over to hug Gwen. Elyan and Tom joined in and Gwen found herself at the center of a tight group hug. After several seconds, they stepped back to let her breathe.

“Thank you, all of you,” she said.

After that, the family sat down to dinner. The details of the job were talked over and over, and everyone expressed their opinions about the job and the man. Tom thought he was irritable because he seemed kind of lonely. Jennie was ready to write him off as rude. Elyan thought that he probably did need a lot of cheering up, and Gwen was definitely the right person to do that.

Gwen went to bed that night with a smile on her face and hope in her heart. It wouldn’t be easy, but if she could do Arthur any good at all, it would be worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Gwen arrived at the Pendragon home, ready and determined to do her best. She opened the door to the annex and caught sight of Arthur in his media room, staring out the window. “Good morning!” she announced, closing the door behind her.

Arthur turned his chair around to stare at her. He definitely looked irritated about something, but didn’t say anything. He watched her as she put her bag down on the dining table and smiled. Then he rolled his eyes and turned his chair around to face the window again. Gwen didn’t let that deter her. She walked right over to stand next to him. “What would you like to do today?”

Arthur stared up at her, a frown on his handsome face. But he said nothing.

“You have a car, adapted for your chair. We could go for a drive in the country.”

Arthur blinked up at her for a moment. “Let me guess. You think it would be good for me. A breath of fresh air.” He had a sickly sweet smile on his face for a second before he dropped it. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

Gwen thought for a moment. “Well, what do you normally do?”

“I sit.”

Gwen raised her eyebrow at this. “Well fine. Shall I make us some tea then?”

She bustled over to the kitchenette and began preparing the tea. Arthur did not follow her; he was back to looking out the window. There must be something really interesting out there, she thought as she prepared the tea.

When she finished, she carried the two cups into the room and offered one to Arthur. “Set it there,” he indicated a little table next to the sofa. She opened her mouth to speak, but he quickly spoke up. “Miss Smith, my mother tells me you are very ‘chatty.’ Can we strike a deal whereby you are very ‘un-chatty’ around me?”

Gwen closed her mouth and nodded. She had no idea how on earth she was to cheer up a man who was determined to stay grumpy. So she walked out of the room and sat at the small bar. After a minute, she got up and took the binder out of the cabinet. She studied it while she sipped her tea.

The rest of the morning passed slowly. Every once in a while she’d get up and check on Arthur, who did not move from his position in front of the window. As far a she could tell, it looked out over the mansion’s garden, which was faded now that it was winter. It was nothing special now and she didn’t see what could fascinate such a man as Arthur, but she left him to it.

She was reading the binder when Merlin returned at noon to “take care of a few things.” But she was able to go outside and eat her lunch. The change of scenery was welcome.

Once back inside, she watched Merlin work with Arthur for a while before he had to go to another patient. The rest of the workday was spent much as the morning, with Gwen alternately reading and acquainting herself with the annex and checking on Arthur. She went home, a bit dejected.

xxxXxxx

The next few days were spent much like the first. Gwen would come in the door, say “Good Morning” and ask him if he wanted to do anything in particular. He always refused and never looked the slightest bit cheered.

One morning, for a change, she brought a large bunch of flowers. The look he gave her reminded her of a particularly irritable teacher she’d had. Another day it rained, so soup was prepared for lunch. Of course she had to feed Arthur. Except one time she slipped and dumped the spoonful of hot soup in his lap. Naturally she had to clean him up and dry him off, which he didn’t comment on but looked at her as if she was the stupidest person he’d ever known. She knew enough about his background that she probably was the stupidest person he knew.

One of those nights, she found herself in her room, complaining to Elyan. “I don’t think I can take it anymore, Elyan.”

“Why not?” he replied.

“He looks at me like he thinks I’m stupid.” She put a pillow over her face.

Elyan removed the pillow. “Well, it’s probably the truth.”

“Thanks a lot!” She threw the pillow at his face.

“Seriously, Gwen, you can’t quit.”

“And why not?”

“Because the family really needs the money.”

“I know.” She looked down and started playing with a loose thread on her quilt.

“But Gwen,” he reached out and lifted up her head. “Most of all because you’re not a quitter. You can do this. It’s only six months.”

“Right. You don’t have to deal with him.”

“True. But I can support you and help you through your tough days. Don’t forget what you’re doing. It might not look like you’re making a difference now, but who knows? You may see a difference in a month or two.”

Gwen smiled then. “Thanks Elyan. You’re right—I can do it. I need to grow a thicker skin.”

“That’s my Gwen.”

She reached out and gave him a hug. She realized that she may not be the smartest person around, but she could be the most determined. She’d show Arthur how much his attitude _didn’t_ affect her.

xxxXxxx

One day, about ten days into work, Igraine stopped Gwen on her walk through the house. “Gwen, hold on a minute.”

“Yes?” Gwen replied.

“Some friends of Arthur’s are coming for a visit. They should be here soon. I believe you’d . . .”

“Oh. I know. I’ll prepare coffee and make myself scarce.”

Igraine nodded. “Thank you. That would be perfect.”

 “Of course.” Gwen continued her way to the annex. To her surprise, she found Arthur waiting in the living area of the great room, tapping the fingers of one hand.

“You’re moving them!” she exclaimed.

Arthur’s frown deepened. “Don’t get too excited—it does happen sometimes.”

The statement dampened Gwen’s enthusiasm and she set her bag on the table with a thump. “I hear you have friends coming to visit.”

“Friends, hmph.”

Gwen was puzzled. “Aren’t you even a little excited to see your friends?”

“Not particularly.”

“Okay, fine. Whatever.” She went to the kitchenette to prepare the coffee.

A few minutes after the coffee was prepared, Igraine stepped through the door with a man and woman in tow. Gwen took that as her cue to leave and slipped out the annex’s back door with the wood basket. She took a good, long time collecting wood, hoping that she’d miss most of the conversation.

She had no such luck. When she gently pushed the door open, she could hear voices. She entered as quietly as she could and set the basket down. The other man was speaking. “Look, I’m sorry it had to come out this way. We didn’t mean for it to happen but it did. I love Vivian, Arthur, and we’re going to be married.”

The woman took a few steps toward Arthur. “What Leon’s trying to say is we became close after the accident. I mean, you weren’t really talking to either of us so we talked to each other. And it just sort of happened.”

“Please, Arthur, say something.”

“Congratulations,” Arthur said with no emotion.

The man threw up his hands and looked at the woman. “I think it’s time to go.” He turned back to Arthur. “Arthur, I really hope things improve. We’ll come and see you again soon, all right?”

“If you like,” Arthur replied.

Gwen hurried forward to help the woman with her coat. Arthur had gone back to his media room. “That man!” the woman said to her. “I tried to be there for him after the accident, we all did. But he pushed us away. He won’t accept help unless he wants to.” And with that, she and the man left.

Gwen then went to clean up the coffee things, but stopped when she heard the sound of breaking glass. She rushed off to find Arthur in his bedroom, his dresser cleared of the pictures she’d noticed there before. They now littered the floor, the glass broken in front of Arthur’s chair.

She looked into his defiant face. No, not this time, she thought. “Don’t move. If you pop your tires you’ll be stuck there until Merlin comes.” Then she ran to the cupboard for the broom so she could clean up the mess.

xxxXxxx

The next day was, luckily, her day off. She bought glue to fix the picture frames, then went to the pub with Lance, who seemed to be in good spirits. “Listen, I’ve had an idea for our holiday. What do you think about Norway?”

“Norway?”

“Yeah! There’s an Ironman triathlon there in a few months.” Gwen’s face fell. “But we’d do other touristy stuff after I’ve done it. You know, to make it a proper holiday.”

“Wow, Lance, that’s . . . that’s . . .”

“’Fantastic’ is the word you’re looking for. Gwen, I’m in the best shape of my life and this is perfect timing. Say yes.”

“All right. Yes.”

“Great!” he leaned in to kiss her.

Gwen’s mind was spinning. How had she gotten herself talked into this? She smiled as Lance’s friends surrounded them and they began eagerly talking among themselves. She walked home later, trying to wrap her mind around the idea.

The next day at work, Gwen sat gluing one of the broken picture frames back together. As far as she knew, Arthur was in his media room doing his usual staring out the window. She was surprised to hear his motorized chair moving towards her. He eventually stopped in front of her and looked over at what she was doing.

“What are you doing?” he asked, incredulous.

“I thought I’d try to fix the picture frames. Can’t do much for the glass but the frames can be repaired. Unless you want me to get new ones? Or we can go get new ones together . . .” She stopped when she saw the furious look on his face.

“Don’t bother,” he snapped. “Put them in the drawer and be done with them.”

He’d already started to roll away when she stated, “You don’t have to be an ass.”

He rolled backwards. “Excuse me?”

“It would be nice if you treated me nicely. You have no idea how it makes me feel when you dismiss me like that.”

“And what if I don’t want you here?”

“I’m not employed by you. I’m employed by your mother. And until she doesn’t want me here, I’m staying. I need the money. I really need the money.” She crossed her arms.

He looked at her, surprised, but didn’t reply. Instead he powered his chair back to his media room and closed the doors. Edgy classical music began playing on the sound system. Gwen shrugged and went back to repairing the frames. It may not be what he wanted her to do, but she wasn’t going to let him win this time. Those frames would go in the drawer but they’d be fixed.

xxxXxxx

One morning a few days later, it was raining fiercely. Gwen came into the annex dripping wet and found Arthur watching her. “Good morning,” she said, not expecting a reply.

She was surprised when he nodded then turned his chair around and went into his media room. Encouraged, she hung her raincoat and umbrella on the coat rack then took off her wellies. She followed him into his room and asked, “Is there something you needed?”

“DVD weather, I think,” he replied, catching her by surprise.

“All right. Which one?”

He named a foreign film she’d heard of but hadn’t seen. She didn’t like going to see foreign films—it was too hard to watch the action and read the subtitles at the same time. Opening the DVD cabinet, she looked through the boxes until she found the right one. “Something about men?” she asked when she saw the French title.

“It’s French gay porn.” She gave him an incredulous look but he grinned. “What’s the matter, don’t you like sarcasm?”

Gwen turned to put the movie in the DVD player. “I don’t mind sarcasm. It’s superiority I don’t like.”

“You must hate me then.”

“I’ve never hated anyone,” she replied, closing the cabinet door.

“Have you ever seen this movie?”

“No, I don’t like foreign films. All those subtitles.”

“What, didn’t you learn to read in school?”

She gave him her best “drop dead” look and made to leave the room. “Can I get you anything—”

“Stay.”

“What?”

“Stay and watch the film with me. That’s an order,” he stated, halting the argument.

She decided she’d let him win this one. It’s not like she had anything better to do anyway.

Two hours later, she sat up on the sofa. Arthur looked over at her and asked, “Well, what did you think of it?”

“I loved it,” she replied.

He gave her a smug grin. “I thought you might.”

She pretended to chuck the throw pillow at him. “You would say that.”

Arthur looked up and out the window. “Looks like the rain’s stopped. Shall we go outside for a bit?”

Gwen was once again taken aback. Since when did Arthur want to go outside? And with her? She thought he detested her presence. When she recovered from her surprise, she said, “Sure.”

She helped Arthur into his jacket and they motored out the annex’s front door to the garden gate. She though Arthur might have trouble on the wet grass, but his chair did fine and he kept up with her as she walked across the lawn.

At first they talked about their favorite movies. She didn’t believe him when he said his was _E.T_. Soon they branched out to her clothing choices, and she explained about her love of fashion. He questioned her taste but she defended it well until he couldn’t argue anymore. Soon they moved on to Lance, whom Arthur dubbed “Running Man” because of his fondness for fitness.

They stayed outside until almost dinnertime, when it was Gwen’s time to leave.

xxxXxxx

Two days later, Gwen drove Arthur’s wheelchair-adapted van for the first time. Arthur had a doctor appointment. Gwen refrained from asking Merlin questions until Arthur was safely ensconced in the exam room with the doctor.

She sat in a chair next to Merlin. “So why is he here?”

“He has these regular checkups every six months,” he replied. “But he’s not getting better.”

“Why not? You do all these exercises with him.”

“Those are to keep his muscles for atrophying.”

Gwen frowned. “Oh. But there are medical advances all the time. Maybe something in the future . . .”

“That’s true. But no one’s worked out how to fix a spinal cord yet.”

Gwen fell silent, because what could she say to that? As far as she knew, it was true. Arthur may recover a tiny bit of motion in his hands or arms, but he’d never be whole like before.


	3. Chapter 3

A week later it started snowing in the early hours of the morning. By the time Gwen rose, several inches covered the ground. She called the bus service to find that the buses weren’t running, so she put on warmer clothes than she was going to wear and set off for Pendragon manor by foot.

Upon walking into the annex, she found Uther Pendragon sitting in Arthur’s bedroom. “Isn’t he up yet?” she asked the older man.

“He was feeling a little tired so he’s staying in bed,” Uther replied.

“Oh, okay. Where’s Merlin?”

“I’ve called him—he’s been delayed by the snow but should be here anytime.”

“Great.” She sat her bag down on the table.

Uther stood up and made for the door to the house. “Listen. Igraine’s down in London and I’ve got to go out. But you can reach me by mobile if anything comes up.”

“All right. Have a good day.” The door closed and she was once again alone with Arthur. She walked into his bedroom where he was lying flat on his back with the bed’s head a little elevated. Circling the bed, she went to whisper to him. “Arthur? Arthur. It’s me, Gwen.”

“I know,” he whispered back. “Could you do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

“I need my head repositioned.”

“How do I do that?”

He explained it to her and it seemed relatively easy. She put a hand on the back of his neck and turned it slightly while plumping up the pillows behind it. He flinched at her cold hands but thanked her for doing it right.

“Are you in pain?” she asked, since his face was screwed up.

“Yes.”

“Can I bring you painkillers?”

“Yes, please.”

She ran out to the kitchenette and filled a glass with water then found the right pills. Being careful not to trip, she ran back to Arthur’s side and helped him down the painkillers. When that was done, she set the glass on the table and asked him if he needed anything else. He replied that he wanted to sleep, so she made sure his covers were high and his head comfortable and let him drift back to sleep.

She sat in a chair at the foot of the bed and watched him for a while. How different it was to watch someone sleep who didn’t toss and turn. He laid flat on his back and didn’t even move his head.

After a while, she got up and rummaged through her bag for a book to read and took it back to her chair. She alternately read, watched Arthur and looked up at the clock. As it crept closer to noon she started getting more and more worried. Where was Merlin? Surely it wasn’t good for Arthur to lay in bed this long. He had tubes and things that needed changing and she had no idea how to do them.

Finally she could stand it no longer and pulled out her phone. First she called Uther and got only his voicemail. Next she tried Merlin’s phone, but also got his voicemail. She was about to try Igraine’s phone when Arthur called out, asking her not to call his mum. She found that a bit odd, but acquiesced.

Sometime later, Merlin entered the annex brushing snow off his shoulders. “I had to walk,” he explained when she rose to meet him. “Where is he?” he asked when he didn’t see him anywhere.

“He’s still in bed,” she replied.

“Well he shouldn’t be!” Merlin marched past her to Arthur’s bedroom. Gwen watched as Merlin ripped the covers off of Arthur then took off his pajama shirt, while talking to him quietly. “He can’t cool himself down like you or I,” he said to Gwen.

He asked her to wet some towels and bring them to him. When she brought them back, he wrapped them around Arthur’s neck and shoulders, instructing her to watch him so she knew what to do if this happened again.

After Merlin took care of Arthur’s medical needs, he settled him back in bed and told Gwen to keep an eye on him and watch his temperature. Merlin left soon after, citing the need to visit his other patients. Gwen settled into the chair at the end of the bed and broke out her book again, settling in for the long haul.

Night had fallen when Arthur woke next. He surprised her by asking, “Shouldn’t you be at home?”

She smiled and quipped back, “You’re stuck with me.” She’d gotten in touch with both of Arthur’s parents and both were stuck where they were at.

“I guess I’m your captive then. What will you do to me?”

“Actually, I wanted to know what happened to you.”

“Didn’t my mother tell you?”

Gwen got up and walked to his head. “She didn’t elaborate.”

“It was a motorcycle accident.”

“You were on the motorcycle?”

“No, I was walking. It hit me.”

“Oh.” She was taken aback at how mundane it was. She thought he would have been the one on the motorcycle, given what she knew about his life before the accident.

There was silence for a moment while Gwen adjusted to the information. He let her think, then asked her. “Tell me something good.”

“Something good? Like what?”

“Anything. Just take my mind off . . .”

“Ah.” She sat on the side of the bed. “Well, when I was young and scared, my dad used to sing me these silly made-up songs.”

“You absolutely _must_ sing me those songs, Miss Smith,” Arthur entreated.

Gwen laughed. “All right, you asked for it.” She sang two of the songs she remembered, Arthur making faces the whole way through. She almost couldn’t finish for laughing.

When she finished, Arthur said, “Your father was an awful composer and your singing voice is terrible.” But he was smiling, so Gwen counted the endeavor as a victory. “Tell me something else,” he implored.

“You might regret that later.”

“I’m sure. Humor me?”

“Okay. When I was really little, my mum bought me these purple, glittery wellies. I wore them everywhere, even in the bath and in bed. And then, for my birthday, I got these bumblebee-striped tights. I wore those two things together, everywhere. They were the most fabulous things I ever owned.”

“And what happened to these most fabulous things?”

“I outgrew them. I was so sad!”

“I can tell.” Arthur grinned. “Did you ever try and find the tights again?”

“Strangely enough, they don’t make them for adults!”

“That is a tragedy indeed.”

“I think so too.”

After that Arthur confessed that he was tired again and wished to go back to sleep. Gwen nodded and made sure he was comfortable. She turned down the light and retreated to the chair at the end of the bed.

Gwen ended up staying in Arthur’s bedroom all night. And though she tried to stay awake, she woke up slumped over the end of the bed, to Igraine’s voice.

xxxXxxx

The snow had disappeared the day after it had fallen and several days later, a warm wind began to blow throughout the region. Signs of spring were showing everywhere. Arthur once again wanted to go outside, so she put his jacket on him and escaped through the annex’s front door.

Once in the garden, they strolled along the greening grass, talking. Eventually Gwen sat on a low wall, facing Arthur. He looked down at her shoes and asked, “What are those awful things you’re wearing on your feet?”

“Oh, you like them? Lance calls them my leprechaun drag queen shoes,” Gwen replied.

Arthur smiled at her. It was that smile that told her he had something to say but wasn’t going to say it. “Don’t smile at me like that. I don’t know what it means.”

Now Arthur laughed. “What are you doing here, Gwen?”

“Herein the garden, or in this little town?”

“This little town. You should be out in the world, attracting dodgy men, improving yourself.”

“I had the chance to study fashion at university.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“Dad lost his job. But anyway, I like my life.”

“Your glamourous life of reading books and watching crappy television?”

“Hey, how did you know that?”

“I know you, and that’s exactly what you do. But you should get out of here, widen your horizons.”

“And you should get a shave. If your beard gets any longer I’ll be picking food out of it. Yuk!”

Arthur looked at her, perplexed. Then his face cleared and he smiled. “All right then.”

She stared at him, confused. “You mean you’ll get shaved?”

“Only if you do it.”

“You trust me that much?”

He gave her that look that meant “don’t be absurd, Smith” and said, “Come on. You can do it right now. It’ll make mum happy.”

Arthur wheeled himself all the way to the bathroom. Gwen helped him recline his chair to the right angle then found the razor and shaving cream. She carefully wetted his face then slathered on the cream and began carefully shaving him.

Several minutes later, after toweling his face clean, she surveyed her work. He looked so different clean shaven! He looked at her, uncertain. “You have a funny look on your face.”

“It’s nothing. You look really nice.”

“Well thanks. I think.”

She smiled brightly. “It’s all good. Come on, I’ll get you lunch.” She helped him put his chair upright and they went out together to the kitchenette.

The day progressed as usual, except for when she caught herself looking at Arthur’s face. He caught her a couple times and looked at her quizzically, but said nothing about it. When Merlin arrived, she ducked into the main house to ask Igraine something, but lost her train of thought the moment she heard raised voices in the living room.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset. You knew this was coming,” Uther said. Gwen was suddenly glad she couldn’t be seen.

“I guess I didn’t expect to see this letter from Switzerland so soon,” Igraine replied.

“Igraine, you were right there when we made the agreement. Six months, that’s what he’s giving us.”

“I agreed to that so I’d have time to change his mind.”

“What, you think the pretty waitress is going to convince him? Igraine, he’s tried suicide before! It wasn’t a cry for help—he meant it.”

Gwen heard a soft sob. “I know.”

“You know what pain he’s in. It’s time for us to support him in his choice; it’s what he wants.”

Gwen couldn’t listen anymore. She turned and ran from the room, back into the annex. For the rest of the afternoon, she couldn’t look at Arthur anymore. While she cleaned up from lunch, she thought how ironic it was that she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him earlier and now she couldn’t look at him.

She sighed in relief when five o’clock arrived. She was out the door with a quick goodbye and on the phone to her brother within seconds. He asked her what was troubling her so much but she didn’t answer—just asked him to meet her in their favorite place with a couple of beers.

Soon Gwen sat on the side of the hill that overlooked the town. A few minutes later, Elyan arrived and handed her a bottle. She opened it and took a long sip. He sat down beside her, studied her for a moment then asked “So what’s the matter?”

Gwen explained everything she’d learned at the Pendragons’ that afternoon. Elyan was appropriately shocked. She wrapped up her explanation with the words “Of course I can’t stay. I’m going to quit tomorrow.”

“What, are you kidding?” Elyan asked.

“Am I kidding about quitting? Absolutely not! How can I continue when I know what I know? How can I ‘cheer him up’ when he’s going to end his life? Doesn’t it seem futile to you?”

“Futile? No. Can’t you see the chance you‘ve been given here?”

She glared at him. “And what’s that?”

“You can make his last days special! Find things he can do and do them. Ask the Pendragons for a budget then go crazy.”

“Elyan, you’re a genius!”

“Thanks?”

“What if doing all these things changes his mind? What if he wants to live?”

“Gwen, I’m not sure—”

“This could actually work! I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before.”

“All right, now you need a plan. I’ll help as much as I can but you’ll have the hard work of getting the Pendragons to go along with it.”

“Igraine sounded so desperate I can’t believe she’d say no.” She grinned. “Where do I start?”

“The library and the internet. There have to be books about his disability and the types of things he can and can’t do. Read them. Find websites for quadriplegics and find out more.”

“Am I crazy, Elyan?”

“No, just determined. And when you’re determined, you can do anything.”

Gwen spent the rest of the day in the library, researching books. Surprisingly, she found several that proved helpful and checked them all out. Once at home, she turned to the internet and found lists of activities for quadriplegics—from sports to the arts, her list of ideas began. She even found a forum for quads and their caregivers which proved especially helpful, as her questions were almost immediately answered by previous responses.

Once she had a list, she searched for local events that were compatible. To her amazement, she found several within a reasonable driving distance and began forming a possible plan. She put all her research into a binder to keep it organized and finally fell asleep around two in the morning.

xxxXxxx

Fortunately she had the next day off so she could continue to research and firm up her plans. With Elyan’s help, she soon had a respectable plan she would be proud to put in front of the Pendragons. She was prepared to go in early the next day to present it to them.

The morning dawned sunny and bright. Gwen took that as an omen that the day would go well, that her plan would work. She dressed herself with a smile on her face, collected her binder and waltzed off to work, excited for what may come.

The Pendragons were surprised to see her, but agreed to listen to her proposal. They watched with interest as she opened the binder and began talking about the activities she’d found. Uther looked over the printouts and marveled. “Concerts, sporting events . . . these are all things Arthur might agree to.”

“We’ve tried to get him out of the house for two years with no luck. What makes you think you can change his mind?” Igraine said.

“Igraine, if Gwen’s come up with all this and he’s prepared to try, that can be good, right?”

Gwen straightened. “Mrs. Pendragon, I can’t just sit around here and wait for the inevitable.” Igraine frowned. “Yes, I know about his plan. I thought maybe with all these activities I’d have a chance to show him that life can be enjoyed. He doesn’t have to sit around the house listening to music all the time. He can go hear it in person, live life, you know?”

Uther spoke up. “I think this is a fine idea, if you can get Arthur to agree. Let us know what you need.”

“All right then,” Igraine said. “Can you give me a schedule so I can rearrange mine to come along—?”

“No, Igraine. Arthur should be allowed to do this on his own.”

“But there’s so much involved in getting Arthur from place to place. Surely she’ll need someone to help her.”

“Merlin can help her, Igraine.” Uther cleared his throat. “Arthur needs to be allowed to feel like a man, and that can’t happen if his mother is always around.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Pendragon. I’ll take care of him. And you’ll know what we’re planning to do well in advance,” Gwen added.

Igraine smiled hesitantly. “I can see you’ve put a lot of thought into this. Just, please, don’t tell him that you know.”

“Of course not.”

“Thank you, Gwen,” Uther said.

Gwen stood. “Well, I’d better get to him now. Thank you for your time, Mr. and Mrs. Pendragon.” Gwen left the Pendragons sitting there, thinking that their conversation wasn’t over yet.


	4. Chapter 4

That day, Gwen thought all about what she’d like to try first. She had her list of potential activities with her and scanned it while she ate lunch. Igraine sought her out then, and she stated a generous budget. This surprised Gwen, since it looked like the two Pendragons might be haggling over her proposal for quite some time. She smiled and thanked Igraine for her generosity and turned back to her list.

Five days later, Gwen went to work armed with her plan. She’d already talked to Merlin about it, and he was skeptical but willing to try anything that could be a positive experience for Arthur.

When she arrived, she went straight back to the bedroom where Merlin was finishing dressing Arthur. “We’re taking Merlin horseracing.”

“Come again?” Arthur replied.

“Today we’re going to the horse races, where I’m placing a small bet on a horse called Man Oh Man. My dad’s friend says he’s a sure thing. Besides, Merlin’s never been.”

“It’s true; I haven’t,” Merlin said.

Arthur glanced at Merlin, who nodded. “Fine then. It’s not like I can stop you, the way you’re going on.”

Merlin bundled Arthur up and Gwen led them outside to the van. Once they strapped Arthur in, they were literally off to the races, Gwen smiling and talking up her horse the entire time. They were dismayed to find the ground quite muddy from the previous evening’s rain. Arthur’s chair got stuck and Gwen dropped his cashmere blanket.

She fought down her feelings of doubt, and called out to a couple of lads she saw passing them. They came over and helped move Arthur’s chair to more stable ground. After thanking them, Gwen led the men inside the park and found their places. They watched horses parade by for a little while before Man Oh Man went by.

“Oh, I’ve got to go place my bet,” Gwen said.

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Arthur replied.

“Why?”

“Look at him his coat is dull and his gait is off. You won’t win anything betting on him.”

Gwen stuck her tongue out. “What do you know? I’m going to place my bet.” She flounced off to do that.

Gwen came back shortly before the race started and waited in anxious anticipation. She pulled binoculars out of her bag and trained them on the starting line.

Once the horn sounded, the horses raced out of the gate—all except Man Oh Man, who looked like he’d rather be somewhere else and came out late. Gwen sighed and tore up her ticket. “It’s time to get lunch!” she said, trying to lighten her mood.

They followed the signs to the park’s dining room. Merlin and Arthur waited with increasing exasperation as Gwen dealt with the maître’d. The woman tried to explain how they didn’t have the right badges to eat at the establishment. Arthur said he wasn’t hungry, but Gwen ignored him. Finally, Merlin spoke a loudly and told Gwen they needed to go. She gave up then, and they left, the aura of frustration hanging over all their heads.

When they got back, Arthur went to his room and turned on loud music. Gwen paced in frustration for a few minutes before she shook it off. She’d had another idea, to go to a local performance of a Mozart concerto. She dug the tickets out of her bag and barged into Arthur’s room.

He faced away from the door, but this didn’t deter her. She marched in and turned down the music so she could speak without yelling. He looked up at her, ready for a confrontation, but she wouldn’t give it to him. “I’ve got tickets to a wind concerto next week,” she told him.

“Why? Has Merlin not been to a concert?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“There weren’t any left for Jay Z?”

“Surprisingly enough, they were all sold out.” She was pleased he was taking this so well.

“Okay then. We’ll go to the concerto.” He smiled up at her and she left the tickets sitting on his lap and went off to see what Merlin had cooked up for lunch.

xxxXxxx

The night before the concert she tried on several dresses and made Elyan judge how they looked. He finally asked what kind of concert they were going to. When Gwen replied with “wind concerto,” he got a serious look on his face. “Get out the red dress.”

The red dress was a little formal something Gwen had found a pattern for in the local fabric shop. Its vintage look would be perfect for the formal setting of the concert. The bodice clung to her curves and the skirt flared out just right.

The next night, she put on the red dress, wrapped a pink scarf around her neck, and left her home to the wolf whistles of her dad and Elyan. Even her mother approved.

When she walked into the annex, she immediately noticed Arthur dressed in a tux. She drunk in the sight, barely noticing when Merlin said “Kapow!”

Arthur looked her over as much as she did him. “Lose the scarf,” he directed.

She gave him her “look” and said, “Only you would tell a girl how to wear a dress, Arthur Pendragon.” But she took off the scarf, and with Merlin’s help, they were on their way.

The place was much friendlier to Arthur’s chair and their seats were up front. They sat for a moment, getting adjusted, when Arthur shifted uncomfortably.

“Are you all right?” Gwen asked.

“Yes—No. There’s something digging into my collar,” Arthur replied.

“Well, let’s see what it is.” She half-straddled Arthur to get a good look at the back of his neck. Sure enough, there was a tag on the shirt that appeared to be causing the problem. “You don’t have a pair of scissors in your bag, do you?”

“I don’t know. Believe it or not, I rarely pack it myself.”

She stifled a snort and ignored the appalled looks of the patrons around them. She pulled and pulled on the tag until it finally gave way and she settled back into her seat. “Got it!” She put the tag into her small bag and faced forward as the musicians were tuning.

The concerto turned out to be a sublime experience. During the oboe solo, she’d shed a few tears. It had been that good. After she pulled into the Pendragons’ driveway, she stopped the van and glanced at Arthur. “Well, shall we go in?”

“Wait a few minutes. I want to feel like a man who’s gone to a concert with a woman in a red dress.”

“All right.” Because what could she say to that, really? Several uncounted minutes passed before he indicated he was ready to go inside.

That night Gwen laid awake for a while, replaying the whole evening in her mind.

xxxXxxx

Two days later, Gwen packed a picnic lunch and they climbed a slope near the castle to settle down and eat it. She was wiping the final crumbs from Arthur’s face when she decided to tell him what was on her mind. “My boyfriend wants to meet you.”

“Running man?”

“Yeah, and, well, my family does too. They’ve invited you to my birthday dinner next week. But don’t worry; I’ve told them you won’t be coming.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you hate going out and you hate eating in public,” she replied.

“I’ll go. It would be lovely to meet your family and see where you came from.”

Gwen smiled brightly. “Good! Well, I’ll just tell them you’re coming then.”

That night she went home and told her family the news. Her mother especially was surprised at Arthur’s apparent change of mind, and altered the menu accordingly.

At last the evening arrived. Gwen had gone home ahead of Merlin and Arthur, whom she welcomed at the door shortly thereafter. The only awkward moment came when Tom stuck his hand out to shake Arthur’s. He took it back almost immediately and apologized. Arthur appeared to take it and stride and told Tom that a curtsey would be fine. That broke the ice and everyone laughed.

Everyone was seated at the table and halfway through the meal of roasted chicken when the doorbell went off again. “That must be Lance,” Gwen announced and got up to answer the door.

It was indeed Lance, who had run twenty-eight miles to get there, though it was only two miles between their homes. But he kissed her and walked through to the dining room where he sat down at the table. The light conversation at the table continued until Lance offered Arthur some fitness advice, saying he could design a workout regimen for him.

The rest of the table stared at him in shock. But to their surprise, Arthur handled it again with grace, saying he’d think about it. Jennie asked Lance if he wanted more chicken, and just like that, the conversation was back on track.

Later, they all gathered in the living room. Jennie brought out the cake and they all sang the birthday song. Gwen blew out the candles and the presents appeared. She received a scrapbook of her childhood pictures from her parents and a heart pendant inscribed with his name from Lance. Arthur mentioned he had a present for her in his bag and Gwen walked over to get it out.

Once she unwrapped it, she jumped up and down and said, “Oh, oh, oh!”

Jennie said what everyone was thinking, “What?”

Gwen pulled the tights out of the box and held them up for everyone to see. “Bumblebee-striped tights! I’m going to put them on right now!” She ran off toward the bathroom and came out a few minutes later wearing the tights. Her family laughed and clapped while Lance was left a little lost. Gwen told him the story and he smiled, but it was pained.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. It was Merlin, come to pick up Arthur. Jennie jumped up to pack him a piece of cake to take home and everyone said their goodbyes. They all walked Arthur to the van, thanking him for coming.

Inside, Tom praised Arthur for being “a humble sort of fellow.” Jennie thought he was gracious to come visit, and Elyan liked his sense of humor. Lance didn’t say much of anything, but put his arm possessively around Gwen.

xxxXxxx

Three days later, Gwen walked into the annex and found Arthur sitting by the table. When she opened her mouth to ask why, he motioned with his eyes toward the table. Sitting there was a card with fancy lettering—Vivian and Leon’s wedding invitation. “Ah,” she said and made to pick it up.

“Can I take you somewhere?” Arthur said suddenly.

“Sure. Where did you have in mind?”

“Outside.”

She helped him into his jacket and he led the way out the door, through the garden and up the slight rise to the castle. As they ascended into it, he explained how he loved to hide in the castle when he was a boy. One time he even nicked a sword and marched out to the battlement to wave it around, but it was too heavy. He even told her about how his first kiss had been in a secluded corner, but he’d been dumped a week later.

He stopped talking and silence grew between them, but it wasn’t hostile. Instead it felt comfortable, like they were two friends chatting and had just stopped to gather their thoughts. “Go with me,” he said.

“Where?”

“To the wedding.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“It’ll be fun. Cleansing. Isn’t that what they say when you need to close a chapter of your life?”

“Won’t it hurt too much?”

“That’s part of living, isn’t it?”

“Okay then, let’s go to a wedding!”

Still high from the wedding talk, Gwen opened the door to her house to find Jennie standing there, all dressed up. When questioned why, all she would say was that she and Tom were celebrating. Tom came into the room then, proclaiming that he had a job! He explained how Uther Pendragon had hired him as head of maintenance at the castle.

Gwen was shocked. It seemed too good to be true. She waited until her parents had left the house- they were going to dinner -and called Arthur.

He claimed that all he’d done was recommend her father to his. Uther had taken a look at Tom’s former work and had come to the decision to hire him all on his own. That was all that had happened. “Why, aren’t you happy for him?”

“Of course I am. It just seems so sudden.”

Arthur chuckled. “You should get used to good things happening to you. Relax and enjoy it.”

Two days later, Gwen opened the outer door of the annex to reveal a man who introduced himself as a solicitor and asked to see Mr. Pendragon. Gwen started to explain how Mr. Pendragon lived next door, but Arthur came rolling up in his chair. He greeted the man then told Gwen they’d be talking there, in the foyer.

It was a clear dismissal, so Gwen went looking for something to do. But her curiosity took over and she pulled out Arthur’s laptop and searched for the solicitor by name. And she found him. He was very well-known in London and specialized in probates, estates and wills. What would Arthur need with a man like this? But she didn’t dare ask Arthur, so she supposed she’d have to live with not knowing.

xxxXxxx

The following weekend was the wedding. Gwen dressed in the most formal dress she owned and reported to the Pendragons’ manor. There, Arthur was once again wearing his tux. She and Merlin helped him into the van, and they were off on a two-hour drive south to the wedding’s location.

The wedding was everything two young, rich people could afford. The bride looked beautiful and the vows were heartfelt. It was a fine spring day outside, which was good news for those who had set up the reception. Everything from the tables to the cake were lavishly decorated. Gwen got to observe all of it before the reception began officially.

Gwen left Arthur parked on the grass to get them both a drink. When she returned, she found him talking to a gentleman.

“I see you’re still keeping up with the pretty ones,” the friend said when he saw her.

“I’m just lucky that way,” Arthur replied. Gwen just smiled at the compliment. The two men finished their conversation and the friend left, as he had to get ready for his best man speech.

“He called me pretty. What a ridiculous thing,” Gwen handed Arthur his drink.

“Not ridiculous. You look beautiful.”

Gwen smiled. “You don’t look so shabby yourself.”

They slowly made their way into the marquee where the rest of the guests were gathering for the luncheon. The speeches were given, the cake cut and the dancing began. Gwen and Arthur watched for a while. A few more people came up to talk to him. Gwen sat down after acquiring her third drink and soon a woman came to sit at her table.

“Ah, getting started already, are we?” she said, nodding at Gwen’s drink.

“What do you mean?”

“These affairs always make one nostalgic. I recommend you get as drunk as possible.”

Gwen abruptly stopped drinking. “You mean there’s alcohol in these?”

“But of course. It is a wedding, after all.”

“Oh no. I’m supposed to drive Arthur home.”

“Ah yes, that one. What a shame, for Vivian.” The woman sipped her drink.

“Why?”

“Arthur is the only one of this lot worth anything.”

“How would you know?”

The woman smiled. “I’m the bride’s godmother.” She stood. “Well, enjoy the festivities. I know I will!” She walked off toward the bar.

Gwen looked over at Arthur. He was smiling and talking with another friend. At least he looked like he was enjoying himself. He seemed to know more than a few people of this crowd and Gwen was glad to see him making an effort to enjoy himself.

A little while later, Gwen was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol. She knew Arthur must be feeling much the same, because when she went up to him, he smiled at her in a way she’d never seen before. “Let’s dance,” she told him.

“Are you sure you want to expose yourself like that?” he asked.

“I don’t really care what the crowd thinks.”

“All right.”

She sat down on his lap and he motored out onto the dance floor. He began spinning in slow circles. “Do they look appalled yet?”

“That they do,” she replied and laughed.

“I love your laugh.”

“You do?”

“You are the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning.”

She took a deep breath; she hadn’t expected that. “Then let’s go away somewhere, just you and me.”

“I . . .”

“Just say yes.”

“Okay.”

“Great!” She threw her arms around his shoulders and he stopped spinning for a moment.

When she pulled away, he grinned up at her wickedly. “Let’s get out of here.”

“All right!” He motored them out of the marquee and they were off, racing away from civilization, from expectations, out into the night.

They mutually decided there was no way that Gwen would be able to drive them home that night. Fortunately the reception was close to a rather nice hotel, so they went in there and booked a room with two beds for the night. They giggled all the way up. Once there, Gwen helped Arthur out of his chair and into bed. She plopped onto her own bed and soon they were both out.

In the morning, Gwen drove them back to the Pendragons’ where Igraine was beside herself. She wanted to know why they didn’t call, or text or anything. Arthur looked at her calmly and said, “Mother, I think I’m old enough to stay in a hotel without your permission.” He moved away, leaving Igraine nonplussed and Gwen smiling behind her back.


	5. Chapter 5

That evening, Gwen went home and examined her book of activities. In a special section, she had ideas for trips abroad. She pulled some of her ideas together for places in California and began making calls. She booked a session of swimming with dolphins, a stay at a special dude ranch and more. In the morning, she planned to take these ideas to the Pendragons and book their flights with their approval.

Two days later, she was cycling in the park while Lance ran. She was trying to work out how to tell him she wasn’t going to Norway after all, because the trip she booked with Arthur had to be the same week. Finally she simply blurted it out. “I won’t be able to go to Norway with you, Lance.”

That stopped him in the middle of the trail. He walked the short distance back to where she was stopped. “Why not? I’ve had this planned for months.”

“I’ve had a work thing come up. A trip I need to go on with Arthur.”

“Another trip? What makes this one special?”

“We’re going abroad. It’s for his health and I need to go to take care of him.”

Lance stepped closer. “Can’t they get an agency nurse or something? I thought you wanted to be with me.”

“I do, Lance. It’s my job; I need to go.”

“Fine. I guess I know where your priorities lie.” He took off running again.

“Lance . . . Lance!” she called out, but he didn’t respond in any way. He kept running.

Gwen sighed in frustration as her phone pinged with an incoming text message from Merlin. Arthur had been taken to the hospital with pneumonia. She hopped back on her bike and rode home, where she caught a bus that took her to the hospital.

The text had told her what floor but not much else, so she rushed up to the nurses’ station and asked where Arthur Pendragon was. They gave her a room number and she strode there to find Merlin and Uther outside the room. “How is he?” she asked.

“As well as can be expected. This is his fourth bout in two years. The last one almost killed him,” Uther answered.

“Don’t worry; he’s tough,” Merlin added.

“Was it the wedding? Am I responsible? Oh, man.” Gwen had sat in one of the chairs next to Uther but now she stood and started pacing.

Merlin put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “No, it’s nothing you did or didn’t do. His immune system isn’t the best—it just strikes.”

“That’s awful.” She glanced up and through the window into the room. Arthur lay in the propped-up bed, connected to several tubes and wires. Igraine sat next to him, holding his hand. “Can I go in and see him?”

“It’s best not. Only one visitor allowed at a time and Igraine needs her time with him,” Uther replied.

“All right.” She sat down in a chair again, next to Uther, and they talked quietly for a little while.

After an hour or so, Merlin’s phone rang. Another one of his clients needed him. After being reassured that it was okay for him to go, he left.

A few more hours later, near dinnertime, Gwen got up in search of coffee. Uther had gone home for a couple hours’ rest. She bought another coffee for Igraine and took them both up to Arthur’s room. Noticing Arthur was asleep, she opened the door as quietly and stepped inside.

Igraine looked up.  “Oh, Gwen,” she said.

“Here.” Gwen held out the coffee.

Igraine took it. “Thank you.”

“I can relieve you now, if you want to go home for a little while.”

“I would like to go home and change my clothes,” Igraine replied. She picked up her purse and stood, coffee in hand. “Thank you again.”

“Of course. It’s no problem at all.”

Igraine left and Gwen sat down in her place. She took Arthur’s hand and held it. His hand was smooth and warm, and she found herself quite enjoying holding it.

A couple hours later, Arthur’s eyes blinked slowly open. Gwen stood and leaned closer to see what he would do. He opened his mouth as if to speak, so she took his oxygen mask off. “Hello,” she said.

“You’re here. I thought it would be mum,” he rasped.

“She was; she left a little while ago but will be back soon. How are you?”

“I’ve been better.”

“I don’t know, Arthur, you’ll do anything to get attention.” She smiled brightly at him, hoping he’d return it.

“I don’t think I can do witty today, Smith.” He closed his eyes and turned his head away. She put the breathing mask back on and settled back into the chair to wait for Igraine’s return.

xxxXxxx

After Igraine’s return, Gwen went home to sleep. The next morning, she dressed and went to the Pendragons’ as usual, even though Arthur wouldn’t be home for a few days. She puttered around the annex, cleaning and tidying here and there until the places in California opened. Everything she had booked she needed to cancel, since they obviously wouldn’t be leaving in three days as planned.

Merlin came in as usual and found Gwen sitting at the table, on the phone. “What are you doing?” he asked her.

“Cancelling everything I had planned,” she replied, placing a hand over the receiver.

“Oh, yeah.” He sat down at the table across from her.

She finished the call and looked at Merlin’s dejected posture. “You know, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I’ve been with him over two years. I got to witness his first attempt at suicide. Unfortunately I see it a lot in my line of work, but I’ve learned not to judge others for their choices. He’s in a lot of pain all the time, but he’d do anything to make you happy.”

Gwen paused a moment at that. On some level, she knew this, but it was another thing to have it stated so plainly. An idea struck her then. “If I could plan another trip and clear it with the doctors, would you come?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, Merlin.”

He nodded and got up. Gwen looked down at her binder. She’d printed out several possible locations for trips. She looked for a place where several activities could be done without leaving a single location. When she found one in Mauritius, she pulled out Arthur’s laptop and looked the place up for current information.

Everything would depend on when Arthur was cleared to leave the hospital and what his doctors would say about her idea, but Gwen was optimistic. Time was passing quickly, but she still had several weeks before Arthur’s scheduled trip to the suicide clinic. If she could only change his mind before then . . . well, she’d have to get started.

That night, she got home to find the house deserted, save for Lance. “I’m sorry I got upset at you the other day,” he explained as he led her to the table, which was set with candles and dinner for two.

“Oh Lance, it’s all right. This looks really good.”

“And low-calorie.”

They sat down and ate dinner, talking about their various workdays. Once they finished, they cleared the table and washed the dishes. Gwen was drying the last plate when she heard Lance ask behind her, “What’s this?”

She put the plate down and turned to find him holding her trip binder. “Oh. It’s for the trip I told you about. For work.”

He flipped through it. “Five-star hotel. Luxury spa. Swimming with dolphins. Scuba diving. This isn’t a work trip, it’s a honeymoon!”

“Lance, his other caregiver is going too.”

“Oh, a honeymoon with two men! Gwen, this isn’t right.”

“I swear nothing is going on between us.”

Lance chuckled, but it held no humor. “Gwen, if you can’t see what’s wrong with this, then you aren’t the woman I thought you were. Seven years! I can’t believe it. We’re through.”

“Lance! Lance, wait—” But he picked up his jacket and walked out the door.

Gwen stood there, shocked, but also relieved. Relieved because she knew she felt something for Arthur. She’d had no intention of acting on it, but now all kinds of possibilities opened up to her. Maybe, just maybe this could be the way she convinced Arthur to not go through with his plan. If he felt the same way, could she convince him to stay with her?

xxxXxxx

Arthur returned home five days later. By then, his doctors had cleared the trip to Mauritius, so Gwen had booked the flight and scheduled the activities. There was nothing left to do but live through the remaining days and pack.

Finally the first day of the week-long trip arrived. The Pendragons picked up Gwen from her home and they drove to the airport, where they cleared security and the other checks with no problems. They boarded the private plane and relaxed into its luxurious seats once all the baggage was stored. Gwen couldn’t stop fidgeting; this was her first overseas flight.

They arrived at nightfall and were taken by taxi to their hotel, where they were greeted and shown to their adjoining rooms. That night they all slept well and woke to a beautiful tropical sunrise, ready to start their stay in paradise.

While Merlin helped Arthur with his morning routine, Gwen dressed and took a walk on the beach, which was a stone’s throw from the sliding glass doors of her room. She enjoyed the warmth for a while before going back to Arthur’s room. He had fallen asleep again, so she opened his patio doors and sat outside, reading, until he woke up again.

Two chapters into her book, a “Hey” emanated from the bed.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” she replied.

“What’s the plan for the day?”

“Well, the front desk has DVDs for loaning; we could borrow one.”

Arthur made a face. “We didn’t come all this way to watch DVDs.”

Gwen laughed. “All right, what would you like to do?”

And that’s how, a short time later, she and Arthur ended up outside on the beach. They lounged in the shade and watched Merlin attempt stand-up paddleboarding. They both thought he was trying it simply because of the beautiful female instructor, so when he flailed and fell in, they laughed heartily.

He must have made an impression despite his clumsiness, because when they adjourned to the pool after lunch, the woman joined them. Arthur made it into the pool with Gwen and Merlin’s help. He declared that it “felt good” to be out of his chair and floating freely. From the smile on his face, Gwen had to agree. He looked more relaxed than she’d ever seen him.

The next morning found Arthur and Gwen on the beach, reading and sunbathing. They watched Merlin’s lesson again, giggling when the instructor had to rescue him again and again. But she seemed to take a great deal of care in it, so they privately agreed that Merlin’s helpless act must be working on her. Also, Arthur surprised her by saying he’d signed Gwen up for scuba diving lessons. She protested, saying she’d probably be too scared. He looked into her eyes and stated, “You can do anything you put your mind to.” She nodded and said, yes, she’d try it.

They had dinner at sunset, talking about their days so far. Merlin appeared sometime later, during their cocktails, with the lovely instructor at his side. “If it’s all right with you two, I’m going to walk Freya to her hotel. I don’t think it’s safe out there.”

Gwen and Arthur exchanged a glance, both thinking, yeah, right. But Arthur simply said, “That’s very chivalrous of you.”

“Very civic-minded,” Gwen chimed in.

Merlin glanced between them before saying, “Oh kiss off, the both of you.”

“We’ll be fine,” Arthur said.

“See you later,” Gwen added.

“Have fun,” Arthur called as Merlin and Freya walked away. They giggled and enjoyed the sun setting the rest of the way before Gwen led Arthur back to his room for bed.

By now Gwen could take care of most of the things Merlin could do, so she helped Arthur with changing his tubes and the like. As soon as she finished that, the storm that had been threatening all afternoon finally broke. They’d never seen a thunderstorm quite like this one; it frightened Gwen a bit, so she went to close the patio doors, but Arthur’s voice stopped her. “No, don’t. Leave them open. I want to see it.”

Gwen backed away from the doors and walked to the head of Arthur’s bed. She knelt down on it so she could adjust his head to a more comfortable position. While her hands were still under his head, he gave her a look. It said everything she’d wanted to say to him and more. “Don’t go back to your room tonight,” he said.

She paused for a moment, looked into his eyes and decided. She drew her other leg onto the bed and curled into him, still holding onto him. She bent down to press their lips together at last. He moved his head into it, which told her that she was indeed reading the situation right. She sighed into the kiss and savored the contact for as long as she could. When she finally opened her eyes, she found he’d opened his and the power had gone out. They laughed together.

Gwen settled herself more fully into the bed and pulled the covers over her. She reached an arm over Arthur’s chest and drew herself as close as she could possibly get. After a final kiss to the side of his neck, she relaxed into the position and drifted off into sleep.

xxxXxxx

Gwen woke just after dawn and noticed Arthur was awake. “I’ll be right back,” she whispered, and went to her room to change her clothes. When she returned, she found Arthur asleep again, so she resumed the position she’d taken the night before and drifted off again.

She woke again to sunlight streaming in through the open doors. The storm had passed in the night and power had returned. She got out of bed and ordered breakfast. It came, and Merlin followed soon after, with a big smile on his face. He checked Arthur over and got him out of bed and dressed, then left.

As Gwen and Arthur ate, he reminded her that “Today is your scuba lesson.”

“Oh no! I forgot!” she replied.

“Well it’s too late to back out now. You’ll need to change into your swimsuit.” He glanced at the clock. “It’s in twenty minutes. You’d better go now.”

Gwen tossed down her napkin and stood. “I’ll only go if you come with me.”

“Of course, you silly girl. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Now go, get changed.”

Gwen hurried off to her room and changed her clothes again. She was incredibly nervous about the lesson, but she’d made a promise.

They met Merlin outside and walked to the pier where a boat waited for them. Gwen took one look at it and turned to Arthur. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.” She shook her head but he continued to ply her with positive affirmations until they were on the boat and had gone to the lesson site. Gwen followed the instructions of the instructor to the letter and was soon out in the water enjoying herself.

The first time she surfaced, she spotted Arthur on the boat and said, “Why didn’t you make me do that earlier? That was amazing!”

“I don’t know, Smith, some people just won’t be told!” he replied with a laugh.

She joined his laughter and was soon back under the water, exploring all she could see under the sea. When the morning ended, she was full of chatter about this and that she’d seen.

The next three days passed in much the same way the first three had. Gwen went scuba diving again, and even tried paddleboarding with Merlin. When she wasn’t engrossed in some activity, she and Arthur laid beachside or poolside and enjoyed the tropical sunshine and air. And every night, she’d curl up at Arthur’s side, reaffirming their feelings for each other even though neither said a word.

Finally their last night arrived. After dinner, Merlin left Gwen and Arthur alone to stroll on the beach together. Well, Gwen strolled while Arthur watched from his chair, a big smile on his face. She moved her body to the music being piped around the hotel “I don’t want to go home. This has been the best,” she said.

She examined him closely and he smiled at her scrutiny. “You’re glad you came, right?”

He shook his head, still smiling. “Yes,” he finally replied. She danced her way back to him, smiling coyly the entire time. “You . . . you are something else, Smith.”

Gwen winked at him, then carefully climbed onto his lap and put her arms around his neck. She pressed their lips together again, and he kissed her back fervently for a minute before pulling away. “I have to tell you something,” he said.

“I know. I have known for months,” she whispered back. “I know _this_ isn’t how you would have chosen it, but I can make you happy.”

“I know you can. In fact, you already have. I’ve become a whole new person these last six months because of you.”

She ran her hands through his hair. “I love you.”

“And I love you. Oh, if you had any idea what I want to do to you right now . . . It’s not going to get better. I’m not going to get better, but if you’ll have me, I want you for the rest of my life, however long that is.”

She stared at him, eyes wide. “So you’re not going to Switzerland.”

“I’m not going to Switzerland.”

“Oh, Arthur.” She leaned forward and pushed their lips together again. They stayed like that for some time, her holding and kissing him as much as he could stand. Then they returned to Arthur’s room, where she took care of him, then showed him all the things she wanted to do to him.

Before they drifted off to sleep, Arthur whispered, “Marry me.”

Gwen whispered back, “Yes,” then sealed the deal with a kiss.


End file.
